The Republic of Noob3 is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its restrictive gun laws, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 3.063 billion Noob3ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government prioritizes Education, with Law & Order, Industry, and Welfare also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. The average income tax rate is 56.3%.

The thriving Noob3ian economy, worth 203 trillion Noobs a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 66,430 Noobs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly, the death penalty has been reintroduced, and prenuptial contracts have replaced diamond rings in marriage proposals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noob3's national animal is the Noob, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Noob3 is ranked 19,836^th in the world and 1^st in Noob for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 5,072.63 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.