The Sand and Scarabs of Osiris Dispatch Office is a mammoth, safe nation, remarkable for its restrictive gun laws and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 8.446 billion Osiris Dispatch Officeans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 44.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Osiris Dispatch Officean economy, worth 125 trillion scarabs a year, is led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 14,853 scarabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is illegal to make racist remarks in public, Harry Potter books are banned, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, and pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Osiris Dispatch Office's national animal is the scarab.

Osiris Dispatch Office is ranked 168,700^th in the world and 1^st in Valle de Arena for Most Cultured, scoring 64 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.