The Dictatorship of Papalandia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Father with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, triple-decker prams, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.612 billion Papalandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Papagrad. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The all-consuming Papalandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,551 trillion Papas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 153,614 Papas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list, nine out of ten citizens of Papalandia answered 'nuclear safety inspector' when asked their occupation, cat memes without alt text are now illegal, and main battle tanks stalk the woods of Papalandia in search of Millipedes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Papalandia's national animal is the Millipede, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Fatherism.

Papalandia is ranked 285,615^th in the world and 4,047^th in the Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 4.87 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.