The Matriarchy of Pionis progia is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 6.677 billion Pionis progians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.5%.

The all-consuming Pionis progian economy, worth 554 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 83,007 euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 304,009 per year while the poor average 16,060, a ratio of 18.9 to 1.

The "blue screen of death" forces many trials to be either aborted or restarted, kids only know what plants are because they've seen them on the television, unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police, and mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Pionis progia's national animal is the tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Pionis progia is ranked 25,686^th in the world and 459^th in Jihad Army of the Emperor for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 64,331.18 Standard Monetary Units.