The United States of Printer887 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its triple-decker prams, public floggings, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.389 billion Printer887ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 76.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Printer887ian economy, worth 821 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 152,457 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Police spend their Saturday nights breaking up illegal street races, children are often observed making 'sand angels' in bunkers, parking's carefree without parking car fees, and neighboring nations are tired of Printer887's big fish stories. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Printer887's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Printer887 is ranked 103,886^th in the world and 1,081^st in Two for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 207.12 on the Clooney Contribution Index.