The Republic of Sad Island is a mammoth, safe nation, notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 7.73 billion Sad Islandians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 66.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Sad Islandian economy, worth 690 trillion Golds a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 89,349 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Metal detectors have been banned after a bottle cap caused a riot at the beach, the urban poor thumbs down the new hitchhiking ban, cheap textbooks have replaced coasters at college ragers, and orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sad Island's national animal is the Clam, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Sad Island is ranked 270,785^th in the world and 267^th in The grimy backyard of Bigej for Most Cultured, scoring 59 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.