The Unorganized Order of Schzeski Plotzkov is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Fred with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, democratic, devout population of 22.533 billion Schzeski Plotzkovians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government prioritizes Defense, with Industry and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Normandy. The average income tax rate is 54.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Schzeski Plotzkovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,722 trillion Nhoskas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 76,455 Nhoskas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Most pop videos prominently feature the Schzeski Plotzkovian flag, foreign students are expected to have a Kegmeister Grade Average of 36-24-36 to qualify for university, the nation's new religious police burn blasphemers on bonfires of their own books, and tourists visit Schzeski Plotzkov to mass-moon Schzeski Plotzkovian politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Schzeski Plotzkov's national animal is the Crab, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Following of Fred.

Schzeski Plotzkov is ranked 234,964^th in the world and 2^nd in Hetalia for Most Primitive, scoring -116.12 on the Scary Big Number Scale.