The Happy Pink Pansexual Land of Sitethief is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Sitethief with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, compulsory military service, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, hard-working, devout population of 13.438 billion Sitethiefians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zwolle，City of Love. The average income tax rate is 34.8%.

The very strong Sitethiefian economy, worth 728 trillion Loves a year, is quite specialized and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 54,187 Loves, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

A signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all, the tools of the trade for landmine clearance appear to be copious amounts of gasoline and a box of matches, Sitethief has a wardrobe full of fake designer suits, and the nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies". Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Sitethief's national animal is the Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Non-theistic Pansexuality.

Sitethief is ranked 40,471^st in the world and 13^th in Vylixan Prime for Nicest Citizens, with 18.34 average smiles per day.