The Sovereign Republic of Slutgaria is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Zaken Borlojev with an iron fist, and renowned for its lack of airports, aversion to nipples, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.804 billion Slutgarians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Welfare, and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of slagonburg. The average income tax rate is 76.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Slutgarian economy, worth 217 trillion Slutgarian donsks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 77,408 Slutgarian donsks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

In the mighty jungle the lion once again sleeps tonight, the people's love for Zaken Borlojev is little more than self-preservation, everyone wants to be on the guest list for diplomatic parties, and local executives are seen on the corner with cardboard signs reading "will oppress the masses for food". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slutgaria's national animal is the Slutgarian Crocodile, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Undefined.

Slutgaria is ranked 68,148^th in the world and 1^st in The Holy Lands of Eden for Highest Poor Incomes, with 43,775.19 Standard Monetary Units.