The Washing Machine Theft Victim of Somewheretopia is a huge, safe nation, ruled by Daniel II with an even hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, triple-decker prams, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, devout population of 984 million Somewheretopians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cairo. The average income tax rate is 46.3%.

The strong Somewheretopian economy, worth 69.6 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 70,700 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Agriculture is heavily subsidized by the government, all the cool kids have tetanus, political scientists despair as the national mascot election eclipses all others in voter enthusiasm, and the national symbol of Somewheretopia is now always featured on a skewer. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Somewheretopia's national animal is the eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Somewheretopia is ranked 150,684^th in the world and 305^th in The UMNS for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 37,966.18 Standard Monetary Units.