The Republic of St Kilda FC is a colossal, genial nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and enslaved workforce. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 3.883 billion St Kilda FCians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government prioritizes Law & Order, although Industry, Welfare, and Education are also considered important, while Environment isn't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 24.9%.

The strong St Kilda FCian economy, worth 196 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 50,627 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

The state is footing the bill for billionaires' lawyers, search-and-rescue organisations are the biggest employer in the country, CEOs can't hear the term 'Fire Sale' without bursting into tears, and evenings at university debating societies often end with everyone acknowledging both sides may well be right. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. St Kilda FC's national animal is the saints me guess, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

St Kilda FC is ranked 285,575^th in the world and 44^th in AFL for Most Cultured, scoring 55 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.