The State of Telituale is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, ruled by High Commissioner with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 25.903 billion Telitualeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Douglas City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 16.9%.

The strong Telitualean economy, worth a remarkable 1,015 trillion betales a year, is quite specialized and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Retail, Pizza Delivery, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 39,196 betales, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Voting is voluntary, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, Telituale has designated Douglas City as its capital city, and High Commissioner has just been declared ruler of Telituale in an international press conference. Crime is moderate. Telituale's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Telituale is ranked 110,326^th in the world and 1^st in Wallis and Futuna for Most Primitive, scoring -26.46 on the Scary Big Number Scale.