The Federation of Teloria is a small, cultured nation, remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 29 million Telorians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Welfare, Healthcare, and Education are also considered important, while Law & Order and Environment receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 10.9%.

The very strong Telorian economy, worth 2.14 trillion Blings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 73,826 Blings, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites, in musicals everybody's a little bit racist, and citizens must have a license to operate a computer. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Teloria's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Teloria is ranked 301,092^nd in the world and 4^th in The Ejected Realms for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -4.47 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.