The Kingdom of Holy Free is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Trinal XI with an even hand, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, compulsory vegetarianism, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 9.274 billion Holy Freeans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lordinia. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Holy Freean economy, worth a remarkable 1,111 trillion Freeses a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Furniture Restoration and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 119,821 Freeses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, those who turn the other cheek seem to enjoy being slapped just a little too much, a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, and crimes are difficult to stop as most of the police force is stuck in traffic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Free's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Holsanism.

Holy Free is ranked 8,839^th in the world and 265^th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,715.72 pounds of wildlife per square mile.