The Republic of TheCow is a titanic, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-working, cynical population of 11.349 billion TheCowians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.1%.

The strong TheCowian economy, worth 643 trillion grasses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 56,670 grasses, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

A large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, it is illegal to make racist remarks in public, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, and conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. TheCow's national animal is the cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

TheCow is ranked 98,791^st in the world and 1^st in cattle for Most Cultured, scoring 66 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.