The Kingdom of Thetlia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King John I with a fair hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, unlimited-speed roads, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 6.455 billion Thetlians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lanowen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 18.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Thetlian economy, worth a remarkable 1,067 trillion Federal Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 165,324 Federal Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.4 times as much as the poorest.

Selling bombs to terrorists has become government policy, statues of famous citizens are erected or demolished on a purely partisan basis, a cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass, and foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Thetlian Moonshine". Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Thetlia's national animal is the Tiúr Deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thetlia is ranked 108,409^th in the world and 61^st in Coalition of Crown Albatross for Most Corrupt Governments, with 10.31 kickbacks per hour.