The Peoples Socialist Union of New Xartoia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Ekana Kapa Spayo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 4.238 billion Xartoians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tianmen. The average income tax rate is 61.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Xartoian economy, worth 549 trillion Monis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 129,560 Monis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Soldiers are issued comics about superheroes punching unflattering caricatures of their enemies, international trade can be a pain to deal with, Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, and the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Xartoia's national animal is the Xarto Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Yelçaism.

New Xartoia is ranked 235,175^th in the world and 4,420^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 47.56 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.