The Borderlands of Ump37 is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, prohibition of alcohol, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.849 billion Ump37ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Ump37ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,492 trillion Euros a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 217,974 Euros, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

Elderly prisoners with severe dementia are reminded hourly that they are evil people by helpful nurse-wardens, every workday begins with group therapy, road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans, and funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump37's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Ump37 is ranked 274,213^th in the world and 10,066^th in Osiris for Most Beautiful Environments, with 12.09 pounds of wildlife per square mile.