The United Socialist States of United Socialist Republics of Finland is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by kiisseli with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, public floggings, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 19.727 billion United Socialist Republics of Finlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tamperse. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient United Socialist Republics of Finlandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,508 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 127,140 Markkaa, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities, the Police Surveillance Unit's motto is "Gotta Catch 'Em All", love is given from each according to their ability but marriage is assigned to each according to their needs, and cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Socialist Republics of Finland's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

United Socialist Republics of Finland is ranked 279,282^nd in the world and 26^th in Taijitu for Highest Food Quality, scoring 5.92 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.