The Monarchial Empire of Varola is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King-Emperor Boris Welmington II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, free-roaming dinosaurs, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.613 billion Varolans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Education and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Varolum. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Varolan economy, worth a remarkable 2,907 trillion Varoes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 250,347 Varoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Reporters who negatively comment on politicians' haircuts are cut from the news, soldiers are "encouraged" to advance by armed officers behind them, people say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces, and King-Emperor Boris Welmington II has been nicknamed 'Robomop'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Varola's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ihdur.

Varola is ranked 232,409^th in the world and 5,683^rd in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 22.39 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.