The Pipes of West 1 is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Paul Pipe with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, anti-smoking policies, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.404 billion Westians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of West Pipe. The average income tax rate is 87.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient West 1ian economy, worth a remarkable 2,346 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 109,627 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

W1-SPAN viewership drops as MPs act their age, reports of arson have doubled since the introduction of a privatised fire protection service, tardiness has increased after carpooling was classified as a criminal offense, and crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. West 1's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Pipism.

West 1 is ranked 27,031^st in the world and 1^st in Alcantara for Lowest Crime Rates, with 84.56 law-abiding acts per hour.