The Free Land of Witkacy is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, smutty television, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.473 billion Witkacyians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zakopane. The average income tax rate is 67.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Witkacyian economy, worth 437 trillion złoties a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 125,871 złoties, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

A large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, legend has it Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz's shower singing echoes through the halls of government, teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects, and jaw strain is an increasingly common ailment. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Witkacy's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Witkacy is ranked 41,612^th in the world and 11^th in Poland for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 206.82 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.