The PacificBoard

A smiling woman is sitting at a desk, looking towards the camera, with a window behind her. This window theoretically faced out towards the massive Rho Ophiuchian skyline. Interestingly, the entire skyline is actually visible, but only because of the substantial winds continuously blowing away the generated smog. Rain can be seen pelting the window.

“Hello, my name is Emelia Atkinson, and this is The News, the only informative and accurate news network, broadcasting from Rho Ophiuchi. We deliver quality news quickly, and never miss a noteworthy event.”

“In some extremely interesting news, Honourbound and Rho Ophiuchian Steel & Oil (which somehow acquired a small army at some point in the past), launched a full-scale invasion of both parts of West Rho Ophiuchi at 7:00 AM this morning.”

“Honourbound appeared to invade using an army that used mainly well-equipped, and well-trained infantry – by our estimates at least five thousand, relying heavily on close air support for assistance in scouting, bombing of energy targets, and in general to enhance the productivity of their forces. Surprisingly, there was a distinct lack of motorized land vehicles in the Honourbound forces, save those required for military logistics and troop transport.”

“Rho Ophiuchian Steel & Oil’s army, which apparently just materialized, apparently consisted mainly of mechanized infantry using American Second World War surplus equipment, and, from our reports, appears to mainly be using largely complementary tactics to Honourbound’s forces, with a lack of any kind of air power and a surplus of armoured vehicles. While their infantry is only about half the size of Honourbound’s, they have managed to find hundreds of M3 half-track troop carriers, and also appear to have acquired several dozen light tanks as well.”

“Both militaries began assaulting West Rho Ophiuchi at almost the same time, leading us to believe that it may have been a coordinated assault. While Rho Ohpiuchian Steel & Oil seems to have invaded through the sections of the previous wall that had been knocked down by West Rho Ophiuchian forces, and primarily through the central part of West Rho Ophiuchi (where it seems that they have faced no formal resistance from the Theocratic Republic of Reformed Violetists, for some reason), it seems that the Honourbound forces are invading the northern and southern extremities of the country, and have gone directly through the border wall in many places.”

“Both parties are facing quite minimal resistance, and seem to be progressing at about the same pace – though Honourbound has more forces, and they are better trained, the sections of the country that they are invading through are substantially stronger than the central area, with some semblance of organized resistance instead of the simple chaos following months of four-sided conflict, and radiological bombardment. Additionally, between their initial invasion and the time of this recording, both sides do not seem to have slowed down, moving their lines westward at roughly two kilometers per hour, or a little bit less. If this rate continues, then the entirety of West Rho Ophiuchi is projected to have fallen by six in the evening today.”

“However, the invasion has not exactly gone particularly smoothly, even if it has been quick. Apparently, between fifteen and thirty minutes after the initial invasion, a large number of smaller corporations, including, among others, Hyperindustrial Motors, Sanchez Geothermal, a corporation that is apparently somehow named That Corporation With The Diborane Monopoly, and the company that owns the big retail center just outside Loop 3. All of these companies apparently also materialized small armed forces, in the ranges of a few dozen to a bit over a thousand armed men, usually also with varying amounts of vehicles, and began to invade through random sections of the wall, carving out small territories. Apparently several civilian militias, and even private citizens were able to grab land in the first few minutes of this.”

“Thankfully, by 7:40 AM, almost all involved seemed to abruptly stop gaining territory and invading new sections of West Rho Ophiuchi, usually stopping between a hundred meters and a kilometer past the border, depending on when they had started, and how effective they had been.”

“Really strangely, the Honourbound and Rho Ophiuchian Steel & Oil forces seemed to turn hostile towards the few remaining expansionist organizations, leading to what has been perhaps the strangest conflict in recent history, even surpassing whatever was going on between Cameronist West Rho Ophiuchi, Loyalist West Rho Ophiuchi, and the Theocratic Republic of Reformed Violetists in May.”

“As far as we can tell, the expansionist groups lost most of their territory rather quickly, and legal action is apparently being brought against some of them, though we do not have enough information to give details on that matter. The dual West Rho Ophiuchian governments are apparently more concerned with fighting each other than the invasions, based on our reports, and the Violetists are apparently trying to give everyone military access, and stay neutral.”

“The organizations and corporations that abruptly stopped their aggression at 7:40 AM are acting even more strangely, though. According to our informants, they have begun fortifying the territory that they currently have – as well as filing documents that seem to claim that they had always had the territory.”

“After consulting with experts, we can conclusively say that at least some of these are illegitimate, though others we are unsure about.”

“In any case, the Honourbound and Rho Ophiuchian Steel & Oil forces seem to be taking minimal casualties, with the West Rho Ophiuchians unable to mount effective resistance. Finally, we should note that we currently only have partial information on the progress and borders in this war – if the war is truly over by six in the evening, we will do our best to figure out the situation in West Rho Ophiuchi as soon as we possibly can. In the meantime, though, neither Rho Ophiuchian Steel & Oil or Honourbound has acknowledged the existence of this operation, so the only information we have comes from our informants.”

“With this in mind, I would strongly recommend the viewers to check in on this program tomorrow for further information.”

“After the break, we will look at the potential ways that this situation could impact you, as well as some interesting news about the First Annual Rho Ophiuchian Automobile Exposition.”

The screen fades to black, and advertisements start playing – the same mixture of fast food, automobiles, retail, and the occasional really strange advertisement as always. After about five minutes, the screen goes to black, and fades back to Ms. Atkinson at her desk.

“Welcome back. Now we will look at the potential ways that this could affect you.”

“To be honest, we expect this war to only affect those already in the territory occupied by insurgents, or near to it. The insurgencies have had a less than ideal performance so far, and our analysts suggest that their pushing all the way back into Rho Ophiuchi would be nearly, if not entirely, impossible.”

“As such, and because about half of all parts of West Rho Ophiuchi have been captured, the only potential problem is the Theocratic Republic of Reformed Violetists. I would recommend staying away from the area, as though they seem to be cooperating with the invasion, they are not heavily garrisoned, and their decisions can be unpredictable at times due to their Violetist fundamentalism. As the country has had numerous issues in the past with civil rights violations, I would simply keep my distance from the border with them.”

“By the way, there is still light rain, so do not go back into the deep tunnels! Most of them are still flooded, and there are reports of small amounts of Osmium Tetroxide contaminating some of the water down there. Probably the safest place to be right not is in the shallow undercity, inside Loop 1 or Loop 10.”

“In other news, we have an interesting new potential competitor for the events in the First Annual Rho Ophiuchian Automoblie Exposition, one that apparently waited quite some time to announce its candidacy – the Rho Ophiuchi First Intercontinental Airport. A strange competitor, the Rho Ophiuchi First Intercontinental Airport has apparently developed a line of jet-powered cars, in secret, which it claims will be much more effective at high speed, long distance travel than those created using internal combustion engines, due to the improvement in power, and those powered by rockets, due to the improvement in performance. As the Rho Ophiuchi First Intercontinental Airport has a lot of land, they have been able to conceal their tests rather well, but they apparently feel confidently enough to compete in the competitions.”

“Interestingly, right after this announcement was made, the Rho Ophiuchian Automobile Manufacturing Association decided to include a drag racing competition, which will apparently take place on a runway at the Rho Ophiuchi First Intercontinental Airport. Our informants have told us that this was involved in some sort of deal to reduce the high entry price to the exposition, but we do not have any details on the matter.”

“In addition, the Rho Ophiuchian Automobile Manufacturing Association has announced that the exposition itself will be conducted at a custom-built exhibition hall. Interestingly, details on the hall’s construction, which are publicly available, seem to indicate that it had started construction of the frame as early as January of this year, meaning that the Rho Ophiuchian Automobile Manufacturing Association likely planned the exposition for several months before its actual announcement.”

“From the details we currently have, the hall has a twelve-hectare indoor public area, apparently with a ceiling fifteen meters high, punctuated by office blocks and multistorey car parks rising out of the top of the buildings. Additionally, several runways on the Rho Ophiuchi First Intercontinental Airport is apparently going to be used for outdoor expositionary space, which will apparently mean the halting of air freight during the duration of the exposition.”

“With these updates, we can know that this event will be one to remember.”