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Actually there is still a missile coming, he just shot down a nanite created UAV and one of my airplanes which was carrying toxic chemicals. Seriously, it just launched, it's not gonna be here for a while.
Wow that was quick. Also isn't anyone concerned about the whole "toxic chemicals falling into the already a disaster area city" situation. I mean I don't know what was on that plane exactly but it isn't good!
Nanites buzz louder in warning
A voice sounds from them
Uhh host the missile is literally 20 minutes away and closing fast
Well, all right. Here we go.
First, because I can, I'm awarding myself Third Place.
The top contenders this time were challenging, but here's my decision. Second Place is a tie between Smiley Bob and Zombie Penguins. Excellent work, both of you.
There are many great people who work in the bar
Even if some of them are quite bizarre
Some may be gone
Their memories live on
And the best one will bring me a nice Pinot Noir
Hey Brocklandia
You're the bar's best janitor
No others "work" here
And that brings us to First Place, which goes to somebody named The fields of asphodel, who won by a bonus point for mentioning the most Bar patrons. Congrats, Asphodel!
It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the bar,
And the clientele seems somewhat changed.
A strange cast of characters, from near and from far,
Some alive, some dead, some deranged.
I’ll start with my kudos to Cheffy, old friend,
Whose cooking has been some folks’ doom
And dear Auntie Flo, watching all our loose ends,
I swear that I’ll pay my tab soon.
I’d like to thank all of our bartenders,
Your work here is truly an art,
And also our excellent janitors,
Especially Brocklandia, a dear friend and a champion at darts
Also our resident elder gods and things monstrous,
Good to see you, Cthulhu and FSM,
And of course, the Cthulhu wrangler, Fabulously fabulous...
Thanks, everyone! And congrats again to Asphodel!
Smiley Bob, The fields of asphodel, and Zombie Penguins
Caustic bubbling can be heard outside
Later
For now we worry about that missile literally 5 minutes away
The roar of a jet engine can be heard outside
Collective groan from the Swarm
Goes outside and bends space around the bar causing the missile to completely miss and transmits data about continuing through the air
Right now we worry
Swims back into the bar
Sounds like we'll need fresh popcorn anyway. What does "a while" mean?--That it's arriving next Easter?
Idk
it's gone now
Screeching can be heard from outside the bar
Great more things to purge
If I recall you signed the contract
Yep. Wait, at the speed it's going and this angle...
It's not aiming for this location.
Oh wait a minute, EVERYONE GET DOWN!
MISSILE HAS REACHED THE TARGET.
*a nuclear explosion occurs 100 kilometers away, destroying several nearby cities*
*an electromagnetic pulse occurs, crippling most of the country's electric grid and frying all electronics for 1000 km*
*this fries all electronics in the bar, including Mindon's Radio, from which he was communicating on*
PRIMARY TARGET WITHIN RANGE
*and Puppet tyranacility's Nanites.*
AN TERMINATION TEAM HAS BEEN DEPLOYED
Why
Looks outside to see the missile curve back
*Dejected sigh*
Teleports outside and creates a swords out of nanites and starts slicing into it
Causing it to explode in a tsar bomba yield non-nuclear explosion decimating everything but the bar and the Swarm and the bunker where the nanites were originally found
*Pops shoulders*
Well that happened
Ahem
Broad casts a message on their radios
That annoyed me don't try it also
Nanites buzz violently
You can never kill the SWARM
Oh and IMPUDENT FOOLS
Oh, come on. If you're gonna rant like a Grade-B movie villain, at least make the rant entertaining? Where's the reference to a secret plan? Where's the "you'll never stop me now"? Where's the manical "bwa-ha-ha"? Rants just aren't the same without the "bwa-ha-ha."
Not with my real name, I didn't. Or do I look like a "Mickey Mouse" to you?
Meanwhile, at the Mastald War Room
Advisor: Sir, the Mindon Office is calling.
The Comrade: Put them on.
Mindris: What the hell, Comrade? You nuked a sovereign nation!
The Comrade: It was necessary to take out the abomination.
Mindris: You're out of line. Stop this now or it'll be war!
The Comrade: War! It is already war! I won't rest till that abomination Puppet tyranacility is dead!
Mindris: *sighs* You give me no choice. Agent 14, do it.
Advisor: Sure, boss.
The Comrade: What?
Advisor: *takes out a pistol and executes the comrade*
The Comrade: Ugghh!
Mindris: Good work, 14. Are you ready to push the cover story?
Advisor: Yes boss.
Mindris: Great, I need to make a phone call.
*Puppet tyranacility's phone starts ringing*
Hey. It's me. You don't have to worry about Mastald anymore. What he did was out of line and I had him taken care of. As far as the people of Mastald knows, you are merely a scapegoat for an accident that claimed the life of The Artist, which was orchestrated by The Comrade. I know you may be upset about not being able to execute your revenge personally, but I can offer you another thing. Name any person, and I will make them the next leader of Mastald. Not yourself of course, they'll be suspicious about that. But name any single person, and I'll make them be the next leader of Mastald
Well, with the bad lighting in the bar...
*The gaunt, Starving artist struts into the bar
Hello everyone! It’s been awhile.
I wanted to let everyone know that Art has decided to archive all of the poetry from Region of Poe.
If you have any other artistic dispatches you want saved, please let me know — Art will display them and keep them safe!
Oh, and I almost forgot: can I have a glass of red wine please?
The fields of asphodel and Zombie Penguins
Thank you! I’m honored.
For the next contest,
Let’s honor our origins
and go with haiku!
Brocklandia, Zombie Penguins, and Starving artist
Max Barry wrote this in News on November 17, 2003, along with a handy-dandy little graph.
"While we're reminiscing, here's a picture of the number of nations we had in the first two weeks of NationStates's life. When I first put up this site, I sent an e-mail around to about 20 friends and told them to pass on the word. Boy, did that work. If humankind ever gets wiped out by a super-virus, the infection rate is going to look like this."
I'm calling it now; Max has a way to see the future.
Still probably gonna go murder their military leaders in revenge
Not myself but you know the Swarm calls for it and I must oblige
Bit late for that. Turns out the entire military council came in after my agent killed The Comrade so they had to all die. Currently it's all being set up as a series of accident caused by a plate of bad eggplant.
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