The Kingdom of Calicov is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Jurich Von Licenstein IV with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed population of 1.431 billion Calicovians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Calconiea Prime. The average income tax rate is 75.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Calicovian economy, worth 179 trillion Calconiean Rupies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 125,324 Calconiean Rupies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Editorials that criticize the government are legally obligated to display the "pants on fire" warning, psychiatrists that date patients are congratulated on their romantic conquests, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, and Jurich Von Licenstein IV's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calicov's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Neko.

Calicov is ranked 17,093^rd in the world and 334^th in Europe for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,136.18 pounds of wildlife per square mile.