by Max Barry

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FurNation RMB

WA Delegate (non-executive): The Scalepile of Yissing Scalies (elected )

Founder: The Purification Squads of MacKenzie Wolves

Last WA Update:

Board Activity History Admin Rank

Most Influential: 53rd Most Rebellious Youth: 116th Largest Publishing Industry: 182nd+29
Largest Populations: 212th Most Beautiful Environments: 220th Best Weather: 255th Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 274th Highest Economic Output: 300th Most Cultured: 346th Most Advanced Public Transport: 369th Largest Welfare Programs: 388th Largest Black Market: 478th Most World Assembly Endorsements: 482nd Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 534th Smartest Citizens: 578th Healthiest Citizens: 667th Largest Agricultural Sector: 763rd Most Advanced Public Education: 780th Largest Governments: 896th Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,010th Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,221st Nicest Citizens: 1,336th Longest Average Lifespans: 1,477th Lowest Crime Rates: 1,538th Highest Poor Incomes: 1,563rd Most Stationary: 1,640th Most Developed: 1,942nd Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,984th Highest Average Tax Rates: 2,042nd Highest Average Incomes: 2,120th Most Inclusive: 2,151st Most Secular: 2,308th
World Factbook Entry

"An archipelago of nations, where many citizens are animal-human crossbreeds ("furries", "furs", "otherkin", "scalies", and many other names). Our region demonstrates strength through diversity, welcoming every species. We have been around since 2001 and were one of the very first furry regions

Yissing Scalies has been protecting the region for over 2,544 days (thats nearly seven years!) before the most recent invasion, and appreciates your continued support.
Delegate does not want to be contacted about proposals and considers it spam. Recruitment is also forbidden.


Embassies: The Commonwealth Of Furry Peoples, The Furry Federation, Old School Furry, and Furry.

Tags: Isolationist, Neutral, Password, and Small.

Regional Power: Moderate

FurNation contains 6 nations, the 2,914th most in the world.

Today's World Census Report

The Greatest Rich-Poor Divides in FurNation

Nations ranked highly have large gaps between the incomes of rich and poor citizens. Nations low on the list have high levels of income equality.

As a region, FurNation is ranked 10,923rd in the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Zombified pile of Yiffing FursFather Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy“Surprise is the best way.”
2.The SR388 of Hungry MetroidsCompulsory Consumerist State Consumerist Wage Drones“One edible Samus please. Hold the ice beam.”
3.The Purification Squads of MacKenzie WolvesInoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists“There's Nuttin' Better Then Bangers For Brekkie!”
4.The Colony of Overlord AirwaysCorrupt Dictatorship Well-Meaning Dictatorship“Spawn more overlords!”
5.The Scalepile of Yissing ScaliesLeft-Leaning College State Paradise“We rise again to protect our ancient homeland...”
6.The Empire of VeksarNew York Times Democracy Corporate-Dominated Sham Democracy“You've ruined your own land, I won't let you ruin mine.”

Regional Happenings

More...

FurNation Regional Message Board

...3, 2, 1...

Hello FurNation!

*Suppresses urge to scratch itch. Hopes he's not brought fleas to FurNation.*

I'm very excited that our embassies have opened. Please come over to our RMB in Where the Wild Things Are and sample our famous suppers - they're still hot! The House at Pooh Corner have already supplied us with more muffins and mimosas than we can manage, so there's plenty to go round.

You're all strongly encouraged to bring some athletes over for our first inter-regional challenge - ‘How Long Can You Hang from a Tree by Your Fingertips?’. Their achievements will be recorded for all time in our Wild Rumpus Book of Records (

Wild Rumpus Book of Records

by All wild things


Welcome to the Wild Rumpus Book of Records, the official record book of Wild Rumpus games.

These are predicated on dedicated (and medicated) athletes, coming in their legions from all regions, from all stations in all nations, to raise their game to new heights of fame (and shame). The achievements of these benchmark-setters are duly recorded in letters, so that in future years we can recall their fears, their blood, sweat and tears, that brought out our awful jeers and awe-filled cheers.

You know your nation can compete at this level, so please send a representative to Where the Wild Things Are, and demonstrate your prowess on the RMB.
Can't post on the RMB? Send All Wild Things a telegram.

Please Up-Vote!

Shameless to ask I know, but please up-vote this dispatch. Up-voting raises the profile of the games and the Book of Records. A higher profile encourages more nations to take part, and then the whole thing will start to look a little less lame!



Contents

How Long Can You Hang From a Tree by Your Fingertips?

Inari Sumo

Orienteering

Royal Ass Côte 2020

Royal Ass Côte 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2017

Roulette

Round the World in 80 Days

World Cup - Russia 2018



How Long Can You Hang From a Tree by Your Fingertips?

In honour of the original Wild Rumpus, where Wild Things swung from trees and howled at the moon, every nation is asked to try this event on their first visit to Where the Wild Things Are. Only the first attempt counts!

How to compete

LinkRoll two dice.

The dice score shows your time in minutes. Post your score on the RMB!

The scores so far

Nation

Region

Date

Time (minutes)

Nuclear Wastelands

The Dank Meme Alliance

31 Mar 2018

12

Naetopiam

Where the Wild Things Are

31 Mar 2018

7:31 (11 really)

British london

Where the Wild Things Are

19 Dec 2018

11

All wild things

Where the Wild Things Are

30 Apr 2017

10

GeodesicDragon

My Little Pony Equestria

22 May 2017

10

Quantilia *

Yarnia

16 Jan 2018

10

Krovx Belgium

RGBN

29 Nov 2020

10

Missisquoi *

CISB

6 May 2017

9

Honeydewistan *

Sikhi Empire

20 May 2017

9

Kissinger-Monroe

The Bar on the corner of every region

24 February 2018

9

Wild pooh corner ambassador

The House at Pooh Corner

Star Wars Day 2017

8

Treehuggers

Where the Wild Things Are

18 June 2017

8

Vegaslovakia

Misanthropic Bloc

6 December 2017

8

Duxverdale

Avadam Inn

25 January 2018

8

The Fields of Asphodel

Avadam Inn

26 January 2018

8

Wandering Marsupials

Wandering around NS

20 September 2020

8

Lowersian gambler

Where the Wild Things Are

12 March 2018

7

Kangaroo hierarchy

Where the Wild Things Are

1 May 2017

6

The 21 Hot Air Balloonists

Where the Wild Things Are (I suppose!)

28 Sep 2017

6

Sanjikurisa

Coristno

21 Jun 2018

5

Almonaster

Where the Wild Things Are

26 May 2017

4

Uber automated luxury cosmic socialism

The Labyrinth

1 Dec 2020

4

The rolling hills of ever expanding land

Where the Wild Things Are

11 June 2017

2:23

*TG player from non-embassy region

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Inari Sumo

Following a public consultation about sports promotion, the town of Roi became home to a new shiro styled Sumo stadium. In the space of a week, Roi-jo was built from flatpack by untrained Roi-tonians. Here, sumo wrestlers face each other in the dohyo (ring), with the aim of rising up the banzuke ranks.

How to compete

See the Inari Sumo guidelines.

The Banzuke so far

Banzuke

Name

Nation

Fought

Won

Win Ratio

Sandanme

Hiromatsu

Almonaster

4

2

50%

Jonidan

Totatari

Honeydewistan

3

1

33%

Sandanme

Totoro

All wild things

3

2

67%

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Orienteering

To celebrate the 2017 World Games in Wroclaw, we went orienteering. Unfortunately, nobody could find the starting point! (It was in Wroclaw 2017). Hopefully our next event will be more successful.

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Royal Ass Côte 2020

Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from sixty-one nations arrived to show their support.
As always, commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.

And the Royal Ass of 2020 is... Mother of Mojave! Congratulations to Hermes Express 123.

Donkey Name

Nation

Distance ran (furlongs)

Dat Ass

Feoras

1

Earthbound

Finmany

8

Grand Galleass

Jehovahs Witness

1

Kamehameha

ScotlandSerenity

16

Maksim the Moscow Mule

Drunkndisorderly

2

Mother of the Mojave

Hermes Express 123

21

Okey Donkey

Mathuvan Union

2

Omega

The Red Society

4

Salad Ass

Caduceo

5

The Wild Behind

New bergslagen

1

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Royal Ass Côte 2019

Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from eighty-five nations arrived to show their support.
As always, Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.

And the Royal Ass of 2019 is... Lazy Ass! Congratulations to Smiley Bob.

Donkey Name

Nation

Distance ran (furlongs)

Ass eater

Anacin

5

Gregory

Terrusya

11

I have a big butt, and I cannot lie

GoodKingWenceslas

12

Kim Kardashian

Aglore

8

Lazy Ass

Smiley Bob

14

Moonsplash

Elysium forests

2

Novaturient

Wolfram Von Richthofen

1

Short Muffins

Padfootia

13

so basically im donky

Evokice

10

Wild Ass

Nudistonia

9

(Oops! It's June 2020, and I realised I missed posting the 2019 results here!)

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Royal Ass Côte 2018

Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from an astounding one hundred and eighty-eight nations arrived to show their support.
As always, Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.

And Royal Ass of the 2018 is... Ruthien! Congratulations to Glacikaldr.

Donkey

Sponsor

Distance ran (furlongs)

Ruthien

Glacikaldr

62

Snickerdoodle

Apple-loosa

56

My Wife Knows Everything

Please understand

18

Eeyore

Sanjikurisa

14

Hercules

Earthbound Immortal Squad

9

Daunè

Lihone

7

⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸

The Marsupial Illuminati

7

Mikael

Blue ice

5

Dan Quayle

Terre australes

4

Lorde

Ijebu state

3

Red

Rbbf

3

Many thanks go out to the nations who supported this event. They are listed below next to their favourite ass.

Dan Quayle (Terre Australes)
Mommabear, Danelaw Scandinavia, Terre australes, Im not against raider against fake fenda

Daunè (Lihone)
Ambelviser, Erbersia, Cansilica, Joushiki nante iranai, Shady middle man, Lihone, Neue geldborse

Eeyore (Sanjikurisa)
Morocco mole, Sanjurika, Please understand, The bears, Western Vapia, New Haudenosaunee Confederacy, Doggor, Jaxon, Severely suppressed serfs of salutations, Queens port, Cataclistal, Zombie Minion, Vooperias, Meralicia

Hercules (Earthbound immortal squad)
Earthbound Immortal Squad, Finmany, Gypsy Lands, Little St Nick, Deuchstland, Cindy lou who, Kamina and Simon, Havadar, The hundred acre wood

Lorde (Ijebu State)
Rejectionville, Crazybloxian Empire, Fortis draco islands

Mikael (Blue Ice)
Zaila, Blue ice, Santo Lat, Tiny utopians, Hynx krivelte

My Wife Knows Everything (Please Understand)
Smiley Bob, United Christian, New Ducklands, Taralania, The Universe World, Democratic Empire of Romania, Pakistani india bangalore and ceylon, The sands casino, Aerilia, Downrightcirclesquare, Oldaman, Prussian polish commonwealth, El chupacabras, Freilibre, Divine skye, Making catgirls real, Stilia, Techpan

Red (RBBF)
Rbbf, Couch fort, Chadargul

Ruthien (Glacikaldr)
Drop Your Pants, Severisen, Xoriet, Waffia, Libetarian Republics, The Grim Reaper, Escade, Duckling Squire, Pergamon, Canton Empire, Novaya Equestria, Zazumo, Larnion, Orange Creek, Imperium of Josh, Ienovo, Erinor, T-ara, Malphe, Marilyn manson freaks, Glacikaldr, Weastern libraria, The quakers, Sassoon, Westberg empire, Cormactopia Prime, Alkasia, Xialta, Jar Wattinree, Fauxia, Invader Unit 1, Altinsane, Socialist Communist States, Founder-Chan, Drazina, Chervil, Arkadia Universalis, Jodi samsinak, Black-eyed heathens, Wiranath, Kozmix, Otaran, Grossvietnam, Lorigia, Xzoardyyn, Alpha centauri ii-a, Feradia, Kostrorleauny, Liberarus, Latman, Green Africa, Comia Noracon, The air force of south asians 19, Protector eorum 9, Calalin, Margiboof, The nod corporation, Dogeius, Hydra dragon, Monarchial law, The rainbow raider agenda, Genvatera

Secretariat (The Marsupial Illuminati)
Livensola, Auphelia, Pythagoras trousers, Canaltia, Empire of Elysium, Midasia, United Amerikana

Snickerdoodle (Apple-Loosa
Frenequesta, The Democratic Nation of Unovia, The Stalker, Altius, Tripartite Empire, The Church of Satan, The Kingdom Historia, Apple-loosa, Eastern denmark, Canovia, Almira, Fractured minds, Emerses, Vando0sa, Gurkland, Ivesi, Australia minor, Bycrest, Duxverdale, Oglician, Illrian, Penguania and Antarctica, Ormenea, The Fields of Asphodel, Hardenburg, Princess Miyu, Carlos menem, Zombie Penguins, Artonin, Limpbizkit, Samudera, Wild pooh corner ambassador, Sanjikurisa, Mr manson, Wild puppet, Seltzer boy, Turbeaux, Yodoshi, OF Arian Hellas, Aquias, Fahran, Transonlatria, The Hanzanburg Union, Clavonian Empire, Greater hindia, Beepee, Red Foxia, Ekkab, Communistico, Devi vytherin, Noniala, Duechland, The operators order, Iahselene, Soswana, Sakhemi

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Royal Ass Côte 2017

Nine nations accepted our invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from ninety-nine nations arrived to show their support.
Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.
And Royal Ass of the 2017 is...

Donkey Name

Nation

Region

Distance ran (furlongs)

Bear Ass

The bears

The Bear Country

33

Dingbat

Mount Seymour

Forest

20

Get thee behind me

Almonaster Nuevo

Canada

16

Screw Beaverton School District

New north cascades

RGBN

8

Stoned off His Ass Hippy

Orange pomander

Hippy Haven

7

Rolax

Kangaroo hierarchy

Where the Wild Things Are

6

Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk

Honeydewistania

Sikhi Empire

4

No Black Hawks!

A dank military

The Great Universe

3

Assy McAssFace

Aelicia

The Affiliation of Allied States

2

Many thanks go out to the nations who supported this event. They are listed below next to their favourite ass.

Assy McAssFace (Aelicia, The Affiliation of Allied States): Sharoxffl and Landform.

Bear Ass (The Bears, The Bear Country): Bitlia, Xarion, Bajor Prime, Arlum, Ursalia, Truxol, Megadeathia, Spanish Africa, Roosevetania, Zen Shia Federation, Democratic-ish, Norrisanada, Lesbian Piraters, Autsch, Infidel State, Ursulvania, Ace Pride, Exotic Lemon, Gyuamno, Untoreragarekinae, Valenceria, The Bears, Omniscientia, Ursaheim, Great East Prussia, Ramen And Noodles, Kenzoland, Picenis, Senpato, The Rolling Hills of Ever Expanding Land, Vault 391, Playball758, and PR Furlan.

Dingbat (Mount Seymour, Forest): Mount Seymour, Atsvea, Shidar, Froenburg, Vuoto Amore, Lord Dominator, Bee, Drasnia, Hoochlandia, Uan aa Boa, Demopolitania, The Aldurfens, Dest Oritio, Frieden-und Freudenland, Touhou, Bubblegum Soviets, Rybeck III, Montmorencia, Caracasus, and Chilledsville.

Get thee behind me (Almonaster Nuevo, Canada): Die All, Ubique, Maple Islands, Innuendo, Wild Mustanges, Richard, Almonaster del Norte, Parkplace, Almonaster du Canada, Stormaen, Craptastica, Almonaster, Devil Heart, Almonaster Nuevo, E1evenll, and Auq.

No Black Hawks! (A Dank Military, The Great Universe): The Universe World, Pasovo-nacoBo, and Rol Geo Dia.

Rolax (Kangaroo Hierarchy, Where the Wild Things Are): Yeffin, All Wild Things, Treehuggers, Port Starboard, Orzile, and Wild Pooh Corner Ambassador.

Screw Beaverton School District (New North Cascades, RGBN): Sikh federation, Sotzial, The NewsStand, Hospiria, Minor North West Ko, New North Cascades, Greater Cesnica, and The Horseland.

Stoned off His Ass Hippy (Orange Pomander, Hippy Haven): 45 R P M, Tiguana, St Stephen n Critters, Aethelia, Free RelaxNation, NovaTora, and Flomtana.

Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk (Honeydewistania, Sikhi Empire): Aspernic, Indian Armed Forces, Honeydewistania, and Republic States of Killerpinkpanda.

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Roulette

Our casino ran from 13th to 19th June 2017. Twenty-one nations gathered to place their bets at our roulette table. The atmosphere could be cut with a knife as the wheel of fortune was spun. We waited with bated breath until that ball came to a stop. Red four!

Congratulations to Liberalus evilus, who walked out the casino nine hot $uppers richer!

Well done to The Universe World and A dank military who each won one hot $upper.

And commiserations to Haarmony, Honeydewistania, Bobcat28, The rolling hills of ever expanding land, Bapple senate, Pigus lantia, Xin-hua-hua, Kangaroo hierarchy, Landform, Dunno doh fart, Ha ha har, GeodesicDragon, Mount Seymour, Aethelia, Duh duh, Brol, New Armenian Union, and Hawaiian tropical melon, who all walked out with empty pockets. Better luck next time!

Our casino has since been licensed out to The Sands.

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Round the World in 80 Days

Our 'Round the World in 80 Days' prize goes to our short-lived resident, Marshian nation36.

Marshian nation36 is on a whirlwind tour of NationStates, putting Phileas Fogg to shame with their collection of visa stamps. We look forward to seeing them back here soon, where we'll catch up on their exploits over a hot supper. All the best with your travels - we wish you a safe journey!

Here is an extract from Marshian nation36's journal, dated 17th May 2017.

7 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Where the Wild Things Are to Storm Wolf Haven.
1 day ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from La Unified angeli to Where the Wild Things Are.
1 day ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Where the Wild Things Are to La Unified angeli.
1 day 5 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from The North East South Atlantic to Where the Wild Things Are.
2 days 1 hour ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from La Unified angeli to The North East South Atlantic.
3 days 7 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Thanksgiving to La Unified angeli.

Think you can you beat that? Please don't - we like having you here!

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World Cup - Russia 2018

Our bookies set up stalls outside nine Russian stadiums: Luzhniki Stadium, Spartak Stadium, Mordovia Arena, Nizhny Novgorod Stadium, Samara Arena, Kazan Arena, Kaliningrad Stadium, Ekaterinburg Arena, and Saint Petersburg Stadium

Well done Zoterik, our real winner who predicted lots of correct results. Bonus prize to The Universe World who only got two (I think) right. And lucky me, who bet against Brazil simply because no-one else was, and won!

Thanks to all who played, especially those who stayed with it right through the competition. I hope you enjoyed it! It's been great to watch your fortunes go up and down as the matches finished.

Paid books:

Group Stage:
Who will go through from Group A?
Who will go through from Group B?
Who will go through from Group C?
Who will go through from Group D?
Who will go through from Group E?
Who will go through from Group F?
Who will go through from Group G?
Who will go through from Group H?

Matchday One
🇷🇺 Russia 5-0 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia
🇪🇬 Egypt 0-1 🇺🇾 Uruguay
🇲🇦 Morocco 0-1 🇮🇷 Iran
🇵🇹 Portugal 3-3 🇪🇸 Spain
🇫🇷 France 2-1 🇦🇺 Australia
🇦🇷 Argentina 1-1 🇮🇸 Iceland
🇵🇪 Peru 0-1 🇩🇰 Denmark
🇭🇷 Croatia 2-0 🇳🇬 Nigeria
🇨🇷 Costa Rica 0-1 🇷🇸 Serbia
🇩🇪 Germany 0-1 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇧🇷 Brazil 1-1 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇸🇪 Sweden 1-0 🇰🇷 Korea Republic
🇧🇪 Belgium 3-0 🇵🇦 Panama
🇹🇳 Tunisia 1-2 🏴 England
🇨🇴 Colombia 1-2 🇯🇵 Japan
🇵🇱 Poland 1-2 🇸🇳 Senegal

Matchday Two
🇷🇺 Russia 3-1 🇪🇬 Egypt
🇵🇹 Portugal 1-0 🇲🇦 Morocco
🇺🇾 Uruguay 1-0 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia
🇮🇷 Iran 0-1 🇪🇸 Spain - bets cancelled due to bookmaker error
🇩🇰 Denmark 1-1 🇦🇺 Australia
🇫🇷 France 1-0 🇵🇪 Peru
🇦🇷 Argentina 0-3 🇭🇷 Croatia
🇧🇷 Brazil 2-0 🇨🇷 Costa Rica
🇳🇬 Nigeria 2-0 🇮🇸 Iceland
🇷🇸 Serbia 1-2 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇧🇪 Belgium 5-2 🇹🇳 Tunisia
🇰🇷 Korea Republic 1-2 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇩🇪 Germany 2-1 🇸🇪 Sweden
🏴 England 6-1 🇵🇦 Panama
🇯🇵 Japan 2-2 🇸🇳 Senegal
🇵🇱 Poland 0-3 🇨🇴 Colombia

Matchday Three
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia 2-1 🇪🇬 Egypt
🇺🇾 Uruguay 3-0 🇷🇺 Russia
🇮🇷 Iran 1-1 🇵🇹 Portugal
🇪🇸 Spain 2-2 🇲🇦 Morocco
🇦🇺 Australia 0-2 🇵🇪 Peru
🇩🇰 Denmark 0-0 🇫🇷 France
🇳🇬 Nigeria 1-2 🇦🇷 Argentina
🇮🇸 Iceland 1-2 🇭🇷 Croatia
🇲🇽 Mexico 0-3 🇸🇪 Sweden
🇰🇷 Korea Republic 2-0 🇩🇪 Germany
🇨🇭 Switzerland 2-2 🇨🇷 Costa Rica
🇷🇸 Serbia 0-2 🇧🇷 Brazil
🇸🇳 Senegal 0-1 🇨🇴 Colombia - book wasn't opened
🇯🇵 Japan 0-1 🇵🇱 Poland - book wasn't opened
🏴 England 0-1 🇧🇪 Belgium - book wasn't opened
🇵🇦 Panama 1-2 🇹🇳 Tunisia - book wasn't opened

Round of Sixteen
🇫🇷 France 4-3 🇦🇷 Argentina
🇺🇾 Uruguay 2-1 🇵🇹 Portugal
🇪🇸 Spain 3-4 🇷🇺 Russia
🇭🇷 Croatia 3-2 🇩🇰 Denmark
🇧🇷 Brazil 2-0 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇧🇪 Belgium 3-2 🇯🇵 Japan
🇸🇪 Sweden 1-0 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇨🇴 Colombia 3-4 🏴 England

Quarter Final
🇺🇾 Uruguay 0-2 🇫🇷 France
🇧🇷 Brazil 1-2 🇧🇪 Belgium
🇸🇪 Sweden 0-2 🏴 England
🇷🇺 Russia 3-4 🇭🇷 Croatia

Semi Final
🇫🇷 France 1-0 🇧🇪 Belgium
🇭🇷 Croatia 2-1 🏴 England

Play Off
🇧🇪 Belgium 2-0 🏴 England

Final
🇫🇷 France 4-2 🇭🇷 Croatia

Balances:

Nation

Rubles

All wild things

1606

Zoterik

1328

Aethelia

527

Rbbf

432

Lightford

431

The liamese empire

397

G-a

375

Cymiopolis

317

224

272

Blue ice

230

Chingis

166

Glacikaldr

166

Lambdaland

162

Lihone

149

Please understand

145

Gelug

129

The Greater Nordics

129

Voljundok

114

Salviatotalia

100

Terre australes

64

Sanjikurisa

59

ROC Union

57

Bodhidharma

42

The Hanzanburg Union

42

Entwood

41

The fer

33

Corprolia

33

Minoa

30

Hertisiana

20

The Grand Puffle Republic

5

Adryvia

-21

The armed republic of dutch coolness

-58

Empire of speedio

-60

Hooverus maximus

-63

Bexley

-100

E-I-E-I-DOH

-100

Eschayon

-100

Elladesia

-100

Empress Helena

-100

Kirgizhia

-100

Lashnakia

-100

New wikola

-100

Pakistani india bangalore and ceylon

-100

Rynese Empire

-100

Saint Thomas and Prince

-100

Slashdot

-100

South St Maarten

-100

St Saratoga

-100

The alex islands

-100

The Antarctic Empire

-100

The autonomous region of helsinki

-100

The sands casino

-100

Vooperias

-100

Wolflandil

-100

Yahlia

-100

Pend Oreille

-200

The Poland-Lithuania Commonwealth

-200

Equalibertyjustice

-239

Zombie Penguins

-245

Veleyria

-270

Fauxia

-368

Ijebu state

-443

Territorio di Nessuno

-603

Louis20

-1015

The Universe World

-1790


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Read dispatch

). We've already had a good performance from an​ inter-regional ambassador!
The rules of the game are simple, and are posted on the RMB, and also in the dispatch. (Shameless to ask - but then, we're shameless - would you up-vote the dispatch? We only need around 150 more votes to make it to the top 20 'best' dispatches!)

We plan more mischief of one kind and another in the future, which we'd love to have you involved with.

Cheers!

*Toasts your health with one of the gazillions of mimosas supplied by The House at Pooh Corner. Hmm. You'd think that our ambassadorial budget would stretch to us bringing our own booze...*

All wild things

Hi all, the Royal Ass Côte donkey race is on!

You can keep up with the race commentary here

Sports Things!

by All wild things


Sports Articles


Royal Ass Côte 2020 - Day 5 20 June 2020

Royal Ass Côte 2020 - Day 1 16 June 2020


Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 4 22 June 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 3 21 June 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 2 20 June 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 1 19 June 2019


Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 6 24 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 5 23 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 4 22 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 3 21 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 2 20 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 1 19 June 2018


Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 5 24 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 4 23 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 3 22 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 2 21 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 1 20 June 2017


Where the Wild Things Wrestle 24 May 2017

Royal Ass Côte Announced 18 May 2017


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2020 - Day 5
20 June 2020

And It's All Over!

*The reporter staggers out of the press bar, and realises that everyone has gone home.*

Dat Ass, Grand Galleass, and The Wild Behind behind at one furlong. Okey Donkey, Maskim the Moscow Mule tied at two. Omega managed four, and Salad Ass made five. Earthbound rocketed to eight furlongs. Kamehameha nearly came home, passing the 16 furlong mark. And at 21 furlongs, the mistress of magic, the mother of movers, the Mother of Mojave is Royal Ass of the Year!

Donkey Name

Nation

Distance ran (furlongs)

Dat Ass

Feoras

1

Earthbound

Finmany

8

Grand Galleass

Jehovahs Witness

1

Kamehameha

ScotlandSerenity

16

Maksim the Moscow Mule

Drunkndisorderly

2

Mother of the Mojave

Hermes Express 123

21

Okey Donkey

Mathuvan Union

2

Omega

The Red Society

4

Salad Ass

Caduceo

5

The Wild Behind

New bergslagen

1


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2020 - Day 1
16 June 2020

Live Action! Watch the race!

And They're Off!

Mother of Mojave is the mother of movers, with an astounding 13 furlongs already travelled. In second is Kamehameha at nine furlongs, followed by Salad Ass at five furlongs, and Omega at three. Earthbound is practically stable-bound, having only covered one furlong so far, neck and neck with Grand Galleass, and Maskim the Moscow Mule. Back at the starting line, it's Okey Donkey, Dat Ass, The Wild Behind.

We spoke to Grand Galleass's trainer, Jehovahs Witness. Grand Galleass is well groomed, a fine specimen of an ass. However, Jehovahs Witness told us:
"I'm actually counting on it coming in dead last for most of the time. It'll help me gather up certain results and notes for future experimentation, hmm? Lots of things riding inside that grand animal."
Which kind of sounds like it's ridden with parasites...


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 4
22 June 2019

Replay! See the finish!

What a frenzied moment that was!

Novaturient may have sought change, but remained in last place, only one length behind Moonsplash. At five furlongs, Ass Eater failed to keep up with Kim Kardashian, who made eight furlongs. so basically im donky slipped back in the ranks, placing fourth with a distance of ten furlongs. I have a big butt, and I cannot lie in third. After leading for the whole race, Short Muffins has just fallen short, reaching thirteen furlongs. And in first place, at fourteen furlongs, proof that you can be a Lazy Ass and still be a winner.

Didn't they maintain an exhausting pace?

A suspected doping scandal has hit the Royal Ass Côte. Sources suggest that the drugs were administered by a needle to the ass. The suspected drug, known as Alanasyn, was administered to Gregory. A race official said: "It is difficult to quantify how much of Gregory's performance is due to the Alanasyn effect, but we strongly believe that the drug more than doubled the distance the donkey managed. Gregory has been officially disqualified from the race."
Terrusya, Grogory's trainer, expressed their bemusement, at first saying "I don’t understand". They have since resolved to investigate what happened, saying they'll "try to figure it out".

Wild Ass also fell foul of anti-doping rules too, this time from a street drug known as "Crack of Doom". Wild Ass had been expected to place seventh.

'Twas a thrilling, absolutely chilling running of the ascot opening race

Thanks to all the donkey's and trainers who took part, and congratulations to Smiley Bob, whose Lazy Ass has won the title of Royal Ass of the Year 2019.

Donkey Name

Nation

Distance ran (furlongs)

Lazy Ass

Smiley Bob

14

Short Muffins

Padfootia

13

I have a big butt, and I cannot lie

GoodKingWenceslas

12

so basically im donky

Evokice

10

Kim Kardashian

Aglore

8

Ass eater

Anacin

5

Moonsplash

Elysium forests

2

Novaturient

Wolfram Von Richthofen

1

Wild Ass

Nudistonia

n/a

Gregory

Terrusya

n/a


Jet to The Sands Hotel

Take a bus, or train, or drive. You could take a horse and buggy if you're really determined to "go west". But why waste time? By jet, it's less than five clicks, from anywhere, N.S. Call it "Fun Saving Time". Join the whirl of continuous excitement. Thrill to the vibrant Monte Carlo atmosphere, the pleasure of all outdoor recreation plus free golf. Sit ring-side for the greatest moments of show business. Enjoy gourmet dining at one of the three elegant continental restaurants. Luxuriate in a magnificent room or suite in the new Aqueduct building... the ultimate in plush living. So get off your burro and get on your phone! Make your reservation today.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 3
21 June 2019

Live Action! Watch the race!

Heartbeats speed up, I have never been so keyed up!

As usual at this stage in the race, there is little change in most of the positions. Novaturient remains at the back, behind joint sixth Wild Ass and Moonsplash. Ass Eater is at the rear of Kim Kardashian, but that gap is wide, and will be hard to fill. so basically im donky has slipped to third. Lazy Ass is anything but, having made it to joint second with I have a big butt, and I cannot lie, and Gregory, who has surprisingly made an unexpected comeback. Still leading by a length is Short Muffins.


Jet to The Sands Hotel

Take a bus, or train, or drive. You could take a horse and buggy if you're really determined to "go west". But why waste time? By jet, it's less than five clicks, from anywhere, N.S. Call it "Fun Saving Time". Join the whirl of continuous excitement. Thrill to the vibrant Monte Carlo atmosphere, the pleasure of all outdoor recreation plus free golf. Sit ring-side for the greatest moments of show business. Enjoy gourmet dining at one of the three elegant continental restaurants. Luxuriate in a magnificent room or suite in the new Aqueduct building... the ultimate in plush living. So get off your burro and get on your phone! Make your reservation today.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 2
20 June 2019

Live Action! Watch the race!

Pulses rushing, faces flushing!

Novaturient is struggling at the rear. Wild Ass looks more like Mild Ass, languishing behind with Moonsplash. Gregory has found his direction, and is neck-and-neck with Ass Eater. Ahead of them, we're seeing that anything Kim Kardashian can achieve, a Lazy Ass can match. I have a big butt, and I cannot lie, so basically im donky in second. Leading by a length is Short Muffins.

These donkeys have some interesting names. Earlier we asked GoodKingWenceslas why I have a big butt, and I cannot lie?:
nation=goodkingwenceslas/detail=factbook/id=1224911


Jet to The Sands Hotel

Take a bus, or train, or drive. You could take a horse and buggy if you're really determined to "go west". But why waste time? By jet, it's less than five clicks, from anywhere, N.S. Call it "Fun Saving Time". Join the whirl of continuous excitement. Thrill to the vibrant Monte Carlo atmosphere, the pleasure of all outdoor recreation plus free golf. Sit ring-side for the greatest moments of show business. Enjoy gourmet dining at one of the three elegant continental restaurants. Luxuriate in a magnificent room or suite in the new Aqueduct building... the ultimate in plush living. So get off your burro and get on your phone! Make your reservation today.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 1
19 June 2019

Live Action! Watch the race!

A gripping, absolutely ripping moment!

Every duke and earl and peer is here. LinkEveryone who should be here is here. What a smashing, positively dashing spectacle.

It's the Ass Côte opening day. Gregory seems oblivious, having failed to leave the starting line. Novaturient looks like they could do with some nutrients, tied with Wild Ass near the rear. Ass Eater and Moonsplash are just ahead of them. With a respectable five furlongs gone, so basically im donky is making respectable progress. Lazy Ass is out at seven furlongs, matching Kim Kardashian. Front runners are Short Muffins, and I have a big butt, and I cannot lie.

We landed an exclusive interview with Gregory's trainer, Terrusya, who seemed as confused as Gregory:
"I was in the middle of eating ass but then the ass came off but I wanted to preserve it so I threw into into my cooler but the cooler was stolen by a scientists and turned it into this ass. Then I heard that he stole my ass and i became John Wick from fortnite and killed like 200 people for revenge of my stolen ass. But then I found out how cool this new form of my personal ass is and I named it."


Jet to The Sands Hotel

Take a bus, or train, or drive. You could take a horse and buggy if you're really determined to "go west". But why waste time? By jet, it's less than five clicks, from anywhere, N.S. Call it "Fun Saving Time". Join the whirl of continuous excitement. Thrill to the vibrant Monte Carlo atmosphere, the pleasure of all outdoor recreation plus free golf. Sit ring-side for the greatest moments of show business. Enjoy gourmet dining at one of the three elegant continental restaurants. Luxuriate in a magnificent room or suite in the new Aqueduct building... the ultimate in plush living. So get off your burro and get on your phone! Make your reservation today.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 6
24 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

It's All Over!


Asses filling up again after the runs

And it's all over for Snickerdoodle, and it's all over for them all. Finding that last burst of energy, Ruthien races ahead to the 62 furlong mark, and despite giving it all her extra, Snickerdoodle is behind at 56. My Wife Knows Everything is third at 18, Eeyore fourth at 14, Hercules fifth at nine. Joint sixth are Daunè and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ with seven furlongs behind them. Mikael takes seventh, having covered five furlongs. Dan Quayle at four is eighth, and Lorde and Red are trailing at three furlongs.

Those were some fantastic asses, and we loved the way they moved.

Donkey

Sponsor

Distance ran (furlongs)

Ruthien

Glacikaldr

62

Snickerdoodle

Apple-loosa

56

My Wife Knows Everything

Please understand

18

Eeyore

Sanjikurisa

14

Hercules

Earthbound Immortal Squad

9

Daunè

Lihone

7

⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸

The Marsupial Illuminati

7

Mikael

Blue ice

5

Dan Quayle

Terre australes

4

Lorde

Ijebu state

3

Red

Rbbf

3


The Peaceful Coffee Shop in Chicago

Chicago. Peaceful. Coffee. Did we mention the coffee?

Oh, pastries and good food too.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 5
23 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Keep On Running


Ruthien and Snickerdoodle, neck and neck

In a shocking twist, The King of All Wild Things has revealed that this year's Royal Ass Côte will run for an extra 24 hours. Which means that this neq-and-neck race is not over yet! With Ruthien at 49 furlongs, and Snickerdoodle at 48, anything could happen. My Wife Knows Everything is now in front of Eeyore. Hercules is in fifth. Daunè and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ vie for sixth place, followed by Mikael, then Dan Quayle, Lorde and Red.

My Wife Knows Everything was caught on camera in Linkprevious race.


The Peaceful Coffee Shop in Chicago

Chicago. Peaceful. Coffee. Did we mention the coffee?

Oh, pastries and good food too.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 4
22 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Snickerdoodle Fills That Gap


Red merchandise on display. However, My Wife Knows Everything has higher sales

And Glacikaldr's Ruthien's back in the race! But that gap is rapidly being filled by Apple-loosa's Snickerdoodle, who, having gone 13 furlongs today to the 34 furlong mark, is now only four behind. My Wife Knows Everything is level with Sanjikurisa's Eeyore, who has emerged from that old gloomy spot, and is neck and neck for third place at 14 furlongs. At eight furlongs, Earthbound Immortal Squad's Hercules has a Herculean task to catch up. The Marsupial Illuminati's ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ has passed the six furlong mark, Lihone's Daunè and Blue ice's Mikael follow, with Terre australes's Dan Quayle, Ijebu state's Lorde and Red behind.

Glacikaldr reveals more about Ruthien in this article.


The Peaceful Coffee Shop in Chicago

Chicago. Peaceful. Coffee. Did we mention the coffee?

Oh, pastries and good food too.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 3
21 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

A Turnaround in Fortunes


Ruthien changes direction

What a turnaround! Ruthien has literally turned around, and started wandering back! Maybe he's feeling lonely, and looking for the rest of the pack. Ruthien won't be lonely for long though, as that bundle of sweetness Snickerdoodle sugar-powers her way past the 21 furlong mark. At this stage, it's unusual to see an ass covering this much ground, but that's the Snickerdoodle effect. My Wife Knows Everything is hungry to fill that gap with Snickerdoodle, but she just needs a little something more. Hercules is showing his strength, breaking away from Eeyore. Daunè keeps plodding on behind, followed by the malformed ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸, Mikael, and Dan Quayle. It looks like a sorely beaten Red ass behind Dan Quayle, and the good Lorde seems to be waiting for the end.

Rbbf, Red's trainer revealed: "Red, named for the colour of the faces of people who dare to wager against him (They are often heard to shout, 'Beat that Red Ass!')."


The Peaceful Coffee Shop in Chicago

Chicago. Peaceful. Coffee. Did we mention the coffee?

Oh, pastries and good food too.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 2
20 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Good Lorde, They're Off!


(Please understand), My Wife Knows Everything is green, and their memorabilia is selling fast

In this second day of racing, Ruthien is flagging. Still ahead at 35 furlongs, their pace is slowing. Snickerdoodle is making progress, and at 15 furlongs, is starting to close that enormous gap. At nine, My Wife Knows Everything is gaining ground, breaking away from Hercules and Eeyore. Dan Quayle, Daunè and Mikael are following those asses, with Red and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ behind, and Lorde finally having wandered out of the stable.

It's heart-warming to see Daunè, a small donkey found at the roadside, keeping pace with the pack. ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ is another underdog, whose sponsor shared this sad story. Mistaken for a horse by the mad Professor Ungar, ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ was abused, tortured, and experimented on. When it became known that the deformed animal was a donkey, it was released into the wild.


The Peaceful Coffee Shop in Chicago

Chicago. Peaceful. Coffee. Did we mention the coffee?

Oh, pastries and good food too.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 1
19 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Hat's a Great Start!

As always, the hats are out in force at the Royal Ass Côte, and there are some fine examples today.

As we wait for the start, lets get to know some of the donkeys in more detail. Earlier we spoke to Eeyore's trainer, Sanjikurisa, and recorded Linkthis footage. Quite inspiring.

And they're Off!
Well, not all of them. Daunè and Lorde seem content to amble around the starting line. Ahead of them a small pack is forming. My Wife Knows Everything ahead of Hercules, followed by Eeyore, and Dan Quayle, with Mikael, Red, and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ behind. Breaking ahead of the pack at 11 furlongs is the sweetheart Snickerdoodle. But the ass to watch is the amazing Ruthien. Sponsored by House Nivali of Glacikaldr, the crowds are out cheering on this early favourite. Having covered 32 furlongs in the first 24 hours, Ruthien is already eclipsing the record of Bear Ass, the 2017 champion.


The Peaceful Coffee Shop in Chicago

Chicago. Peaceful. Coffee. Did we mention the coffee?

Oh, pastries and good food too.

Official Sponsor of the Royal Ass Côte


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 5
24 June 2017

Noone Can Touch That Bear Ass!


Pooped out ass, after five days of strain

Bear Ass is Royal Ass of the Year! Five full days of racing, and noone came close to touching Bear Ass. Dingbat made a valiant attempt, coming second, followed by Get thee behind me in third. Further back, Screw Beaverton School District managed a respectable fourth place, Stoned Off His Ass Hippy in fifth, and Rolax sixth. Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk made seventh, No Black Hawks! eighth, and Assy McAssFace trailing behind.

Dignitaries from 99 nations attended the races, raising much needed funds to help preserve the
Ass Côte
as a nature reserve for another year.

Full results are in The Wild Rumpus Book of Records.

Six hours to go!

Emotions are high as the finish line comes into sight. Stoned Off His Ass Hippy is making progress, but, like Screw Beaverton School District, looks unlikely to rank in the top three. Get thee behind me slips behind Dingbat, who keeps pushing to narrow the gap with Bear Ass.


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Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 4
23 June 2017

Get thee behind me Set to Get Ahead


Neck and neck

With a fresh burst of energy, Get thee behind me catches Dingbat. Neck and neck, they jockey for position behind that stunning Bear Ass. Screw Beaverton School District hangs on to fourth place, while in fifth is Rolax joint with the Stoned Off His Ass Hippy.


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Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 3
22 June 2017

Stoned Off His Ass Hippy Rolling Up

Despite strong wind, Bear Ass kept running, extending that lead. But the big surprise of the day was the dab of speed from Stoned Off His Ass Hippy, who, showing no quarter, passed the joint placings of Rolax and Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and puffed his way into fifth place.
Supporters of other donkeys were Linkseen to express their frustration with the progress.


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 2
21 June 2017

Screw Beaverton School District May Yet Make the Grade!


In a new twist, Screw Beaverton School District pulls away from the pack

Feeling fatigued and battling the weather, the donkeys are making slower progress today. Bear Ass is maintaining a steady lead on Dingbat, but the strain is starting to show. Get thee behind me is losing a little ground to these two race leaders. Screw Beaverton School District is breaking away from the pack though, powering ahead of Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and Rolax, who are rivalling for fifth place. No Black Hawks! is holding out, while Stoned off His Ass Hippy is starting to come into his own, with Assy McAssFace yet to pick up the pace.


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 1
20 June 2017

Watch the Linkopening ceremony

Dingbat out of Hell!


Dingbat races across the diamond sands of the Ass Côte

At a distance of twenty-one furlongs, that Bear Ass is proving difficult to beat. A late starter, rocketing out the stall like a Dingbat out of hell, Forest's Dingbat hoofs it past the competition and into second place, reaching twelve furlongs before the end of the first day's racing. This could prove to be a stiff challenger for the title. Get thee behind me makes steady progress to the ten furlong mark. Screw Beaverton School District is fourth at five furlongs, followed by Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and Rolax joint fifth. No Black Hawks! follow Rolax. Stoned off His Ass Hippy’s staggering in the right direction, leaving Assy McAssFace in the rear.
What an amazing late performance from Dingbat, showing that fortunes really can change in this unpredictable race.

That Bear Ass is Spectacular!
Twelve hours in, and all eyes are on that spectacular Bear Ass! At the six furlong mark, Get thee behind me is struggling to achieve it's ambition, at a full six furlongs behind Bear Ass. Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and Screw Beaverton School District are joint third at the four furlong mark, closely followed by Rolax and No Black Hawks! The Stoned off His Ass Hippy has finally dawdled out of the stall, leaving Dingbat and Assy McAssFace behind.
But all could change. Can Bear Ass keep up this incredible pace?

And They're Off!
Only a five hours in, and the excitement is buzzing at the Royal Ascot. Bear Ass is already ahead at the five furlong mark. But can this donkey keep up the pace?
Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk has covered three furlongs, closely followed by Rolax, then Screw Beaverton School District, with the others yet to start. But in this long and challenging race, the tables could easily turn.

At the Royal Ass Côte, the spectators are as fascinating to watch as the donkeys!


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Where the Wild Things Wrestle
24 May 2017

Sumo is coming to Where the Wild Things Are. Following a recent public consultation, the governing body of the Wild Rumpus Book of Records will trial a series of Sumo wrestling matches. Guidelines have been drawn up, giving wrestlers clarity on the rules of engagement, and the standards of conduct required. There are high hopes (particularly amongst marketing executives) that Sumo becomes a popular and long standing part of Wild Thing culture.

Should things go to plan, the town of Roi looks set to become home to a new Sumo stadium. Roi has one of the highest youth unemployment rates in All wild things, and it is hoped that this development could help turnaround the town's fortunes. A sketch of the stadium leaked to Wild Things! shows a Japanese style castle, or shiro. Following Japanese naming conventions, the new stadium would be called Roi-jo. Locals however, are already calling the proposed stadium Roi Castle.

The consultation also revealed a high level of public interest in surfing, and Calvinball. Wild Rumpus Book of Records official Boris McWorthy indicated that these may be suitable sports for future events.

One of the more unusual suggestions in the consultation was LinkFerret-legging. Mr McWorthy dismissed this suggestion, citing diplomatic reasons. “We had concerns this could damage our inter-relations with Furry regions. We've no objection to people playing with the hairy things in their trousers, but we do not want to see them coming on the international stage.”


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Royal Ass Côte Announced
18 May 2017

HRH Maurice Sendup, King of All wild things, has announced the inaugural Royal Ass Côte races. International sponsors are sought for the event, which features wild donkeys dashing across diamond sands, competing to be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’. Dignitaries from all over NationStates are invited to attend the entertainments, which will run from 20th to 24th June. The official dispatch contains more details.

With the aim of maintaining momentum in the sporting calendar, officials from the Wild Rumpus Book of Records are now seeking opinion as to which other sporting events should be hosted Where the Wild Things Are.
Contribute to the consultation here.

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On 20th July we're going Orienteering!
Solve clues to find markers hidden around NationStates. More details will be given on the 20th on the Where the Wild Things Are RMB.

To celebrate the 2017 World Games, All wild things arranged an Orienteering challenge! Solve clues to find markers hidden around NationStates.

Take a note of the time now, so you know how long it takes you. When you're done, telegram All wild things your time, and the list of locations (in order)!

But where is the starting point?

It's time to kick off Halloween themed musical spam.
https://youtu.be/yOAl0enE7kI
Spam us back!

Sneaks in and leaves chocolate eggs, with a message reading "Happy Easter"

Thanks, and happy Easter to you!

All wild things

Darastrix empire

Wow, those zombies progress a bit too fast... first time peeking in since yesterday, already 99% of my nation zombies xD

I didn't fare any better with those zombies.

I didnt bother to do anything about it this time. oops.

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