The Holy Empire of Celdern is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Aurelian IX with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.261 billion Celdernites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jerusalem. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Celdernic economy, worth 640 trillion Celdernic Flames a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 196,557 Celdernic Flames, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 643,541 per year while the poor average 45,091, a ratio of 14.3 to 1.

The government endows universities based on clearly demonstrated greed, fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal, unused plastic recycling bins are being dumped into landfills by the tonne, and theories abound over why conspiracy theorists are being arrested. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celdern's national animal is the Phoenix, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Sacred Protestant Christianity.

Celdern is ranked 114,144^th in the world and 18^th in THE SUPER POWERS for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 726.26 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.