The Illuminate Empire of Reignstorms is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by The Baphomet with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, unlimited-speed roads, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.678 billion Enlightened Ones are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Babylon. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Enlightened economy, worth a remarkable 1,621 trillion Phoenixes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 211,243 Phoenixes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets, raccoons are plump and satiated, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves, and statistics show that terrorists often come from broken families. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Reignstorms's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Freemasonry.

Reignstorms is ranked 6,491^st in the world and 2^nd in THE SUPER POWERS for Most Cultured, scoring 138 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.