The Kingdom of United Islands of Cotarl is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Garshield Bayhan with an even hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, remarkably easy parental licensing program, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate population of 2.014 billion Cotarlians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liocott. The average income tax rate is 74.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Cotarlian economy, worth 191 trillion Fish a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,972 Fish, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Motivational posters send motorists positive vibes in high-risk areas, the government makes bereaved siblings into bereaved orphans, most Fish coins are riddled with bite marks, and the monarchy has adopted absolute primogeniture. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cotarl's national animal is the Bristlemouth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Umbanda.

Cotarl is ranked 67,446^th in the world and 23^rd in Flanelistan for Safest, scoring 96.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.