The Protectorate of Duckling Squire is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its closed borders, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 23.076 billion Duckling Squireans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 71.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Duckling Squirean economy, worth a remarkable 2,109 trillion Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 91,405 Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Builders across Duckling Squire are blocked up with orders for new public loos, nobody looks each other in the eye at neighborhood block parties any more, citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee, and exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Duckling Squire's national animal is the Duck.

Duckling Squire is ranked 36,429^th in the world and 2,434^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 79.27 law-abiding acts per hour.