The Euphonic Euphoria of Eumarea is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Eustace with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 14.518 billion Eumareans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eudemonia. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Eumarean economy, worth a remarkable 2,246 trillion euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 154,709 euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, government ministers sport new billboards that read 'Will Trade Votes for Private Members' Bill Support', children usually cry on their first day of school, and the government has heavily invested in badly drawn monkeys. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eumarea's national animal is the European otter, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Eumarea is ranked 285,380^th in the world and 4^th in The Greatest Freak Show on Earth for Most Primitive, scoring -446.91 on the Scary Big Number Scale.