The Euphonic Euphoria of Eumarea is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Eustace with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, state-planned economy, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 19.64 billion Eumareans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eudemonia. The average income tax rate is 97.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Eumarean economy, worth a remarkable 3,142 trillion euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 159,992 euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians no longer click with dating app matches, apples shaped like baguettes have become a strange new food fad, government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals, and graffiti is done with immaculate multi-layer shading. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eumarea's national animal is the European otter, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Eumarea is ranked 1,953^rd in the world and 1^st in The Greatest Freak Show on Earth for Safest, scoring 144.21 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.