The Empire of Cadonio is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate population of 2.838 billion Cadonioans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nueva Cardenas. The average income tax rate is 91.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cadonioan economy, worth 396 trillion Stag Dollars a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 139,775 Stag Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hordes of faceless civil servants are running cities, the constant playing of Merry Birthday on Cadonioan radio has led to calls for the song to be classified as a crime against humanity, it can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom, and parents often leave their kids in the car while they attend mindfulness meditation sessions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cadonio's national animal is the Honey Badger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cadonioism.

Cadonio is ranked 3,717^th in the world and 191^st in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 135.82 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.