The Republic of Ralphburg is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Ralph J Russell with an iron fist, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, infamous sell-swords, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 9.345 billion Ralphburgers are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ralphburg. The average income tax rate is 16.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ralphburgian economy, worth a remarkable 2,533 trillion Dogecoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 271,136 Dogecoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sports club owners are having a moneyball, polygamy is legal, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, and prime picnicking sites are being paved over in the name of progress. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ralphburg's national animal is the big smoldog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ralphburg is ranked 7,555^th in the world and 209^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 56.96 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.