The Free Land of Guadapoltec is a mid-sized, efficient nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 74 million Guadapoltecoes live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.2%.

The thriving Guadapoltecian economy, worth 5.29 trillion pesos a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 71,465 pesos, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 370,621 per year while the poor average 7,466, a ratio of 49.6 to 1.

The fattest folk in Guadapoltec look to be the happiest ones, gun shops sell hook hands and eye patches, citizens sport solarium-kissed tans that are perfectly even except for the occasional melanoma, and chanting protestors ask "WHAT DO WE WANT?" and reply "MORE OF THE SAME". Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Guadapoltec's national animal is the jaguar, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Guadapoltec is ranked 4,896^th in the world and 9^th in United Kingdom for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 140.79 on the Bus Surprisal Index.