The Socialist Pessimists of Hellawi is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Comrade BluzMynki with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate population of 29.311 billion Hellawi are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wherda. The average income tax rate is 92.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hellawi economy, worth a remarkable 4,656 trillion Mynkis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 158,877 Mynkis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

On-duty Air Hellawi flight attendants are usually seen napping in first class, the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop, babies are a small but significant export, and juvenile delinquents are fitter than ever. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hellawi's national animal is the Aardvark, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Hellawi is ranked 311,535^th in the world and 51^st in Hippy Haven for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -50.8 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.