The Secret Lab of Joana is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Empress Joana with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 17.516 billion Minoans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Athens. The average income tax rate is 12.0%.

The strong Minoan economy, worth 921 trillion Minoan tala a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 52,607 Minoan tala, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Police aim to defeat hatred with love with their "hugs-for-thugs" program, under love's heavy burden Empress Joana sinks lower in the political right's esteem, foreign powers often deal with problems that Joana can't handle, and for 25 Minoan tala tourists can gawk at the site of national tragedy. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, probably because of the absence of a police force. Joana's national animal is the little owl, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Joana is ranked 243,832^nd in the world and 4^th in Hinduism for Lowest Crime Rates, with 53.73 law-abiding acts per hour.