by Max Barry

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Most Patriotic: 24,862nd
The Republic of
Authoritarian Democracy Mouth-Breathing Creationists
Seriously, seriously serious.
Influence
Apprentice
Civil Rights
Rare
Economy
Good
Political Freedom
Average

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Jonathan Swift

Population1.14 billion

CurrencySatire
AnimalSatyr

The Republic of Jonathan Swift is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, prohibition of alcohol, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 1.14 billion Jonathan Swiftians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 47.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Jonathan Swiftian economy, worth 48.7 trillion Satires a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Information Technology, Basket Weaving, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 42,688 Satires, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Loss of the ability to speak is a common affliction of the elderly, factories are regularly demolished to make way for low-cost housing areas, large-girthed charity workers assign themselves healthy wages for their work with starving children, and at customs baggage gets an x-ray and female travelers get an ultrasound. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jonathan Swift's national animal is the Satyr, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Jonathan Swift is ranked 158,123rd in the world and 13th in The Cuckoos Egg for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 4,883.26 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

Top
10%
Most Patriotic: 24,862nd
Top
10%
Safest: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Jonathan Swift was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Pacifist.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, at customs baggage gets an x-ray and female travelers get an ultrasound.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, large-girthed charity workers assign themselves healthy wages for their work with starving children.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, factories are regularly demolished to make way for low-cost housing areas.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, loss of the ability to speak is a common affliction of the elderly.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, standing on a chair to reach a top shelf is seen as evidence of narcissistic personality disorder.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, foreigners with shady pasts are fleeing the country.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, students cut up leftover Satires during Arts and Crafts.
  • : Following new legislation in Jonathan Swift, the term "Native Jonathan Swiftian" has been redefined as anyone with the same skin color as the majority.

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