The Retired and Inactive of Kelban Island is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Kelban with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, sprawling nuclear power plants, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 5.669 billion Kelbanians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tritan. The average income tax rate is 21.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kelban economy, worth 647 trillion Kelbanian Kronor a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 114,163 Kelbanian Kronor, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs, the nation is going green, corporations claim the third ounce of any metal traded in a wicker-cone on the Sunday of a full moon as a charitable expense, and carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kelban Island's national animal is the White Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Kelban Island is ranked 34,974^th in the world and 8^th in Astellaria for Fattest Citizens, with 14.96 Obesity Rate.