The Dictatorship of Kernel is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 3.877 billion Kernelians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 16.0%.

The strong Kernelian economy, worth 187 trillion Syscalls a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Pizza Delivery, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 48,463 Syscalls, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 144,098 per year while the poor average 12,778, a ratio of 11.3 to 1.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, employers may fire workers without giving any reason, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked, and elections have been outlawed. Crime is a problem. Kernel's national animal is the Tux, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Kernel is ranked 255,161^st in the world and 3^rd in Linux for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -5.29 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.