The Colony of Lagoona is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 6.501 billion Lagoonans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Defense, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.6%.

The very strong Lagoonan economy, worth 329 trillion aurums a year, is led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 50,724 aurums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 145,484 per year while the poor average 14,068, a ratio of 10.3 to 1.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit and tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Lagoona's national animal is the bovina.

Lagoona is ranked 247,990^th in the world and 1^st in Lagoon for Safest, scoring 31.07 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.