The Clarinet in B-Flat of New Eestiball is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ann O'Nymous with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, rampant corporate plagiarism, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.111 billion Estonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tallinn. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Estonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,652 trillion propans a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 232,326 propans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, the banshee wail foretells skies of death, elections are won by the candidate who makes the best 'yo mama' jokes, and government reports are now used to teach toddlers to read. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Eestiball's national animal is the bobcat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Yahlism.

New Eestiball is ranked 3,487^th in the world and 55^th in Europe for Lowest Crime Rates, with 126.16 law-abiding acts per hour.