The Rei Khans Wife of North South North West Kansas is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Kiki with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory vegetarianism, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate population of 8.666 billion Kansans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of SKO BUFFS. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Kansan economy, worth a remarkable 1,232 trillion Toasts a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 142,204 Toasts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, veteran cops reminisce over their heavy armor days, one can wake up in North South North West Kansas and have breakfast in Bigtopia, and armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North South North West Kansas's national animal is the Toaster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Breakfast.

North South North West Kansas is ranked 124,990^th in the world and 35^th in Cape of Good Hope for Most Primitive, scoring -37.53 on the Scary Big Number Scale.