The Republic of Thing 9 is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, zero percent divorce rate, and devotion to social welfare. The democratic, devout population of 2.436 billion Thing 9ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 43.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Thing 9ian economy, worth 212 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 87,206 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Purported secret military bases are dismissed by Leader to be highly-advanced toilet factories, professional athletes juggle part-time jobs to avoid bankruptcy, the government is plagued with uncertainty, and former state leaders include a TV comic and a cowboy actor. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thing 9's national animal is the tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Thing 9 is ranked 56,452^nd in the world and 9^th in Distorted Memories for Safest, scoring 101.42 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.