The Great Principality of Valkthen is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Gihren Zabi with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 12.239 billion Valkthenese are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Side Three. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.5%.

The strong Valkthenian economy, worth 854 trillion Karpatoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 69,790 Karpatoes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 202,121 per year while the poor average 19,096, a ratio of 10.6 to 1.

Big Agriculture has the government by the nuts, couples kissing on the street are detained for 'unlawful exchange of genetic material', citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians, and insanely good theatre productions face government censorship. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Valkthen's national animal is the Skull Shark, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Zeonism.

Valkthen is ranked 37,670^th in the world and 3^rd in Fourth Karpati Pact for Fattest Citizens, with 14.75 Obesity Rate.