The Grand Empire of Valve is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Gabe Newell with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, avowedly heterosexual populace, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed population of 26.882 billion Valvedrones are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Steam Store. The average income tax rate is 91.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Valvedrone economy, worth a remarkable 1,925 trillion CSGO Skins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, extremely specialized black market in Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 71,639 CSGO Skins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Valve is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside, Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies, and perverts across the land rejoice after 'sexual harassment' was recently renamed 'persuasive courting'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valve's national animal is the Freeman, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Gabenism.

Valve is ranked 51,235^th in the world and 38^th in Portugal for Lowest Crime Rates, with 73.82 law-abiding acts per hour.