The Open Arms of Windruffle is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Roselle Dawning with an even hand, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 4.297 billion Windruffleans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hydrangea. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Windrufflean economy, worth 592 trillion WideShells a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 137,814 WideShells, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants, nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths, Roselle Dawning's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners, and court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Windruffle's national animal is the Pollen Puff, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Appreciation of Nature.

Windruffle is ranked 5,051^st in the world and 12^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Cultured, scoring 158 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.