The Federal Republic of Yayna is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Fiancee' John with an even hand, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, daily referendums, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, devout population of 38.398 billion Yaynans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yaynas. The average income tax rate is 66.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Yaynan economy, worth a remarkable 5,202 trillion Polar Crowns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 135,491 Polar Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Maths Professor Barbie is the most popular toy for boys and girls alike, the nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies, toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam", and tourists are forbidden to enter Native Yaynan lands. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Yayna's national animal is the Mercedes, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is German car appreciation.

Yayna is ranked 113,113^th in the world and 14^th in Arctic for Most Primitive, scoring -29.33 on the Scary Big Number Scale.