The Constitutional Republic of Zargomie is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Dustin Jaryd Jäger with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, rampant corporate plagiarism, and smutty television. The compassionate population of 22.054 billion Zargomites are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zandia City. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Zargomite economy, worth a remarkable 5,738 trillion Beezies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 260,223 Beezies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military has forsaken terrestrial warfare, there's an aura of pseudoscience around academia, giggling teens are asked to put their mouths on rubber dolls, and citizens are strongly encouraged to breathe less so as to limit the carbon footprint. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zargomie's national animal is the Sabre Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Zargomie is ranked 2,609^th in the world and 4^th in The Atheist Empire for Lowest Crime Rates, with 134.97 law-abiding acts per hour.