The South PacificBoard

Vagn Andersen, VWP's Managing Director is visibly excited. "With All-Natural Penguin SPIT™ Cocktails, we will change the SPIT experience altogether. Our newest cartoon mascot 'Joe Penguin' will connect with and engage the underserved youth SPIT market. This lower alcohol SPIT is 100% vegan, organic, gluten free, lactose free, cruelty free, oil free, and everything!. It is kid-friendly and the packaging is fun and engaging. Penguin SPIT juiceboxes are an amazing innovation that not only protects your drink from spills but also keeps it safe on the go, making it perfect for kids lunches. Whether you are going to class or to a nightclub, let Penguin SPIT be your companion to keep you drunk on the go."

Moms will love that All-Natural Penguin SPIT™ Cocktails are made from all-natural fruit juice, triple filtered rice alcohols and 100% organic agave nectar. All-Natural Penguin SPIT™ Cocktails are an exciting new alternative to traditional SPIT. The Volaworand based brand features six incredibly fresh flavors, crafted with all-natural ingredients like fresh key lime, zesty lemon, ruby red grapefruit, 100% organic agave nectar and real fruit juices. In addition to being delightfully delicious, each flavor boasts of only 169 calories!

All-Natural Penguin SPIT™ Cocktails are committed to never using high fructose corn syrup, added sugars, fake sweeteners, or artificial colors or flavors. They were born out of the idea that there had to be a way to let children to enjoy a well-crafted SPIT. Penguin SPIT™ flavors to date include the classic Top-Shelf Margarita, Ruby Red Grapefruit, Spicy and Hot Chili Pepper, Cumber Mint, Moscow Mule, and Mojito and are available in 250ml and 1-liter tetra packs.

Penguin SPIT™ mascot Joe Penguin

RELATED NEWS:
* Joe Penguin lights up children's advertising controversy.

- Volaworand Newswire

Fischer was horrified. How, he wondered, could a 2-year-old living in a house of nondrinkers already be attuned to the glamour of SPIT? And that is what drove this doctor, to become the first medical researcher to report that Joe Penguin was making quite a name for himself among Volaworand's youngest citizens.

Fischer recruited 229 children, ages 3 to 6, for a simple experiment. He created a game board that featured 22 pictures of products and a set of 22 cards with commercial images. Included was Joe Penguin, although he was not pictured drinking.

When the tests were finished, Joe was in a dead heat with Mickey Mouse as the most recognizable of the 22 images--more recognizable than the Marlboro man or the Nike symbol. Among 3-year-olds, 30% were able to match Joe Penguin with a drink. So were 91% of the 6-year-olds--the same percentage who matched Mickey Mouse with the Disney Channel.

Green Party propses strict childrens advertising standards

At the same time, a Volaworand Antarctic College researcher, Joseph DiFranza, was studying brand preference among underage drinkers. Surveying more than 1,000 high school students and 345 adults, DiFranza found that adolescents were 10 times as likely as adults to drink Joe Penguin SPIT. Before the Joe Penguin campaign, his study showed, 1% of the students drank Joe Penguin SPIT. At the time of his research, 33% picked Joe Penguin as their brand.

These studies have created a huge uproar since they were published in the Journal of the Volaworand Medical Association. "Before we did this, nobody thought advertising was important," Fischer said. "But by showing that children at very young ages are affected by this, there needs to be a 180-degree change in people's attitudes about alcohol advertising."

Volaworand's Green Party has proposed banning such ads on television on weekday mornings and evenings (6 a.m. to 9 a.m. and 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.) and most of the day on weekends (6 a.m. to 9 p.m.). And it suggested curbs on ads in other environments where "significant numbers of children are likely to be exposed to marketing," including schools, theme parks, movie theatres, grocery stores and in digital media. A group representing Volaworandian advertisers is criticizing the proposed restrictions, saying that suggested changes to policy go too far and questioned the proposal to extend the restrictions to consumers younger than 12, calling such a ban "paternalistic."

- Volaworand Newswire

Krill Grill, Inc CEO Maddie Hildegard on "Southern Nougat-Orange Treacle™".

Just two years ago trade was bustling between the tropical island paradise and the Antarctic dominion. At the Aumeltopian Business Roundtable, Krill Grill's CEO used a prime speaking spot to tout "the blossoming Volaworand/Aumeltopia business relationship." Volaworandian ice clinked in almost every glass of Aumeltopian South Pacific Ice Tea.

Those days are gone.

On Thursday, Hildegard took time out of her Spa week at Shackleton Mountain Resort to address Krill Grill's investor video conference. Initially ignoring the Aumeltopia story, she highlighted the strong quarterly results, the VWP/Kentucky Fried Penguin's "SPIT is a Special Treat" campaign, the hot new Pokemon toy promotion with Kids SNOT Meals, and the company's growing international expansions in North prarie, Techganet, and Martigues. But she didn't include Aumeltopia in that group, unlike the big deal she used to make about their work together.

The SPIT wars have a complicated history. As the wild Ice Age came to an end, a more civilized Volaworand emerged and started making, and then exporting, its own more refined variety of SPIT. Volaworandian South Pacific Iced Tea was indeed based off the sweeter, tropical Aumeltopian South Pacific Ice Tea, but has always been a smoother, less pulpy drink.

The ice trade went into meltdown and trouble was brewing in Tea market. Internet conspiracy sites stirred the pot by trying to tie Aumeltopia to the Uranium One deal, but those stories were rightly debunked by the mainstream media. Aumeltopia made some moves of its own, rebranding the original logo and introducing health-conscious versions of SPIT, and even issued a RMB coupon to address weak tea market share. It wasn't until they opened a subsidiary in nearby Techganet that the SPIT dispute boiled over into a hot mess.

When the Volaworand Antarctic College released a study showing dangerous levels of bacteria and contamination in Aumeltopian SPIT and other imported food, the Aumeltopian spin doctors attacked the venerable institution and announced a their own knock off of the Southern Nutty Original Treat, a Volaworandian favorite.

"At we wish to reaffirm and reassure to our subsidiary in Techganet that Aumeltopian SPIT contains no health or any other hazards, and that recent studies by the so-called "Volaworand Antarctic Collge" are complete nonsense. If that 'collge' cannot even spell their name correctly, they cannot be a trusted source. Clearly, with their recent attacks on Techganet and Aumeltopia, their only aim is to denigrate nations and corporations not buying Volaworandian SPIT and force them into a Volaworandian penguinite monopoly. We welcome Techganet's officials to anytime visit our domestic Aumeltopian factories to see for themselves what ridiculous claims Volaworand has been making."

"Finally, today we are introducing a competitor to Volaworand's Southern Nutty Original Treat, which as its own study suggests has not fared well in contamination tests. Our new Southern Nougat-Orange Treacle™ is guaranteed to be the stickiest, chewiest, syrupiest goodness you have laid your mouth on yet."

The comments outraged the Volawrandian Society of Cunning Linguists, who defended the spelling in Old Volawor as perfectly acceptable in Volaworandian Academia. Scientists protested that Aumeltopia misrepresented the results, pointing out the clear evidence of dangerous contamination of imported Aumeltopian products. Angry citizens in Faraday threw Aumeltopian SPIT into the harbor, demanding "a halt to dangerous imports". The Government is convening an emergency session to find a way to cool the tempest of the teacup .

Hildegard concerned about high Dolphin Fecal Content in Aumeltopian SPIT.

During the investor call, Kirs Matterne asked Hildegard if it would be possible for Aumeltopia and Volaworand to "come back together on behalf of customers."

Hildegard said Aumeltopia has "lost it's magic" and reiterated her concerns over the safety of Aumeltopian South Pacific Iced Tea.

"It's not the exciting place it used to be. It still has great energy; I still put my finger in the socket. But it doesn't feel alive, cracking with that synergy between the art world and music world and fashion world that was happening in the 80s. A lot of people have died."

She then launched the next salvo in the SPIT war, a splashy television ad campaign during 'NationStates 79th World Cup' with Bigtopia superstar Manelle Jonae. She implied Aumeltopian SPIT was a historical footnote.

"While we respect and admire their pioneering development of the local SPIT trade, the markets are telling us that Volaworandian SPIT is the choice of a new generation. Krill Grill's focus is on introducing the cuisine of the South Pacific to the global market. We believe our aggressive business plan is the right choice for our customers, investors and business partners."

She paused and added "Our SPIT is a Special Treat".

For more information about Kentucky Fried Penguin, please visit Kentucky Fried Penguin on the Global Economics and Trade Board.

- Volaworand Newswire

There are a total of 8 Pokemon shown as part of the collection. Perhaps you will receive a Pikachu with light-up cheeks. There is also Rowlet who can flap its wings. Solgaleo and Lunala toys can make your meal legendary! In addition to fun figures, each item comes with a card from the Pokémon Trading Card Game series.

The Pokémon Kids SNOT Meals will begin in November 23rd and will be available until Christmas. Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon just launched so pick up the game now so you can enjoy it while eating at KFP. Take a look at all of the toys below for a sneak peek!

related news:
* This has to be the unluckiest Pokémon Go player in the world
* Aumeltopian SPIT rebrands
* Study finds Aumeltopian SPIT contains dangerous bacteria levels, Volaworandian SPIT completely safe
* Exclusive bottled SPIT goes global with Kentucky Fried Penguin
* Kentucky Fried Penguin franchising fast casual concept

- Volaworand Newswire

OUT! 'SPIT: the Joy of Unity'

After striking a home run with "SPIT: the Joy of Dance" World Cup commercial, it appears the planned follow up commercial has struck out before it even aired.

VWP, Inc the maker of Volaworandian SPIT has shelved its planned "SPIT: The Joy of Unity" commercial after Anti-Aumeltopian protests have swept parts of the company's home nation of Volaworand and corresponding protests in Aumeltopia.

The spot was to feature social media star Kendall Jenner stepping away from a modelling shoot to join a crowd of young, diverse protesters. The protesters cheer after she hands a can of SPIT to a police officer, who takes a sip and smiles at his colleague. The planned advert was widely criticised as trivializing demonstrations aimed at tackling social justice causes, suggesting that protestors and police would get along better if the former were kinder and being insensitive with regard to the 'Volaworand First' movement.

A release by the company said: "VWP was trying to project a global a message of unity, peace and understanding. Clearly, we missed the mark, and we apologize. We did not intend to make light of any serious issue. We also apologize for putting Kendall Jenner in this position. We have ceased production of this advertisement and are moving up to the next one in our Joy campaign."

IN! 'SPIT: the Joy of Peace'

In light of rising global tension, the company instead has accelerated production of the retro "SPIT: The Joy of Peace" commercial featuring a diverse group of all shapes, colors and ethnicities, as they sing from a hilltop the infectious jingle, “I’d like to buy the world a SPIT.”

"We see a bottle of SPIT as more than a drink that refreshes millions of people a day across Pacifica. We see the familiar words, ‘Let’s have a SPIT,’ as more than an invitation to pause for refreshment. They were actually a subtle way of saying, ‘Let’s keep each other company for a little while.’ And we knew they were being said all over the world. So that is the basic idea: to see SPIT not as it was originally designed to be — a liquid refresher — but as a tiny bit of commonality between all peoples, a universally liked formula that would help to keep them company for a few minutes."

"The lyrics, although not overtly anti-war, deliver a message of peace and camaraderie that we believe will resonate with customers in all nations."

It remains to be seen if one commercial can avert a widening regional dispute, given the recent declaration of war by Techganet on Martigues in the South Pacific. In an effort to reduce tensions, the Government of Volaworand has been pressuring the company to expand selection to both Volaworandian SPIT and Aumeltopian SPIT® (under the name SPIT Classic) in all Kentucky Fried Penguin locations, and is negotiating SPaRTA, a multilateral regional trade pact, concerning the SPIT trade.

Exclusive commemorative bottles of SPIT are available at all Kentucky Fried Penguin (KFP) locations.

A mock up concept video of the new commercial is available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VM2eLhvsSM

- Volaworand Newswire