The Sovereign Kingdom of Aritzoska is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by David Plattix with an even hand, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, anti-smoking policies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate population of 5.863 billion Zanosi are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lonolia. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Zanos economy, worth 797 trillion Ætherons a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 136,055 Ætherons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, and David Plattix can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aritzoska's national animal is the Puffin, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Aritzoska is ranked 3,399^th in the world and 67^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 137.5 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.